I sat behind the steering wheel of my van – shaking.  Had that really just happened? 

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“Mama, are you okay.  Why are you crying?” Concerned, tiny voices began asking from the back seat.  “Mama, that lady was acting so ugly to you!  Why was she so rude?” 

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Wiping my misty eyes with the sleeve of my sweatshirt — still frazzled — I turned around, answering the tiny voices, “Sweeties, I don’t understand why that lady was acting so ugly to us today.  Some people just aren’t kind.  To be honest, I don’t ever want to go back to that place again.”   

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I glanced over at my clock on the dashboard.  “Had we really been in the post office for nearly an hour?”  I simply wanted to mail a care package out to a friend who was going through a hard time.  I took a deep breath.  “Why do some simple tasks seem to turn out to be so complicated?” I whispered to myself.

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“Girls, we have to go.  Buckle up.  We’re going to be late for your piano lessons if we don’t hurry.” 

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Pulling up to the redlight, the tiny voices began asking again. “Mama, what was wrong with that lady at the post office?  She didn’t want to help you at all!  She was grumpy.  I think she just wanted to give you a hard time today.” 

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I nodded.  “Yes, girls.  I agree. Sometimes people simply have not learned how to be kind.  They think being rude and making others’ lives harder makes them feel more important and powerful.  But at the end of the day, they are really the ones who truly are miserable.  You know, when I ask you to speak to each other using a kinder tone, you are actually learning how to change your voice to be gentler to one another.  When I tell you to figure out an argument on your own, you are learning how to listen to your sisters and understand how your poor actions make them feel.  Some people are never taught these things.”   

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The redlight changed, and I turned left.  “But Mama, that lady doesn’t need to have a job helping others if she can’t be nice.”  I laughed.  “Yea, working at the post office is probably not the best job for her.  But I’m sure she needs the money.  You know how Mommy and Daddy have a business, and we have employees?  We talk to them all the time about how to treat others.  You never really know what someone else is going through, and your actions can either make someone’s day much better – or much, much worse.  We are all remembered by our actions and how we make others feel.”     

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“Well . . . ” the tiny voices piped in, “I think that lady made our day much much, worse.  Don’t you, Mama?” 

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I stopped at another stoplight and giggled.  “Yes.  I guess she made our day much worse, but we have to choose to forgive her.  I’m still upset and frustrated at the way she behaved.  She could have been helpful, but instead, chose not to be.  You know, I really don’t want her poor actions to ruin my day.  There’s still a lot to be grateful for.  See, we are driving to your piano lesson right now.  You girls love the piano.  We can pray for her too.  She probably really needs to know Jesus.” 

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Pulling into our piano teacher’s neighborhood, I asked my girls, “Do you want to grow up to act like that lady?”

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All three of the tiny voices simultaneously chimed in, “NO WAY. We want to be nice.”

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“Well, girls, I’m glad to hear that.  But you know what?  It’s your choice.  You can choose to grow into a kind and loving person or a bitter and hateful person.  That’s why we all need Jesus.  He helps us become people who love others.  I want you to grow up to love others well, and when you have a job one day, I want you to be a great worker who knows how to treat others.”

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“Not like the lady in the post office?” the littlest voice asked? 

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I pulled into our piano teacher’s driveway and parked.  “Yea.  We don’t need to act like the lady at the post office.  I’m really sad she was so unkind.  Sometimes hard things happen — like what happened today — that make us want to be better people.  We can use hard times as lessons that teach us to love others and serve them.  I believe when you grow up, you are going to be kind, helpful young women, right?”

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“Yes, ma’am, Mama,” they chimed as they grabbed their piano books.  I opened the van door to let them out.  They were smiling as they jumped to the ground and ran inside.    

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I often think about the verses in Deuteronomy 11:18-19, “Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”  

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As a mama, I’ve found it’s the little moments that sometimes affect our children — and us — the greatest. Merely having our children beside us during the mundane experiences of life can provide the most extraordinary, teachable moments — even when those moments seem unpleasant. God desires us to simply teach our children as we go through through the good and the bad of this life together – learning hand-and-hand with them how to be more loving, gentler servants to His kingdom.

Love, Macki